Monday, 25 March 2013

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I am constantly astounded to find so many men spending so much money on jeans that make you look like you'd be more comfortable in a dress. I can appreciate the male desire to look sexy, but, just cos you see it on a male supermodel, does not mean it looks good. I actually wrote a jeans guide a while back, and I'd thought I'd listed all the key points in shopping for a sexy fit, but I am constantly being asked to elaborate on my tips from that article. So, I'm going to do that today, and I'm going to do it with photos. I'm going to show you a few brands and styles that look good, and a few which don't. You should not assume that, just because a brand is listed, all styles from that designer are good or bad. It's a case by case deal, and that's why I'm being so specific here.

Lucky Jeans Bootleg 
Take a look at these jeans. Simple, classic lines. Notice they aren't super low waist - this is the best jeans rise you will find. Regular zip fly always looks better than button-fly. The color is perfect; stonewashed, not too dark, not too light. These are straight legged from the thigh, all the way down to the hem. The bootleg cut is the best style available for men and you should make an effort to find a pair of them, no matter what brand you use. Notice the way the hem of the jeans reaches the floor - this is important. Jeans that reach the floor have a much more pleasant appearance than those that don't.

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7 For All Mankind Bootcut
Like I said, bootcut is the best style out there for y'all. These are a fantastic color, and they have a nice, natural-looking fade down the thigh. This is really the only kind of fade you should be getting - anything else looks very prima-donnaish. It also looks extremely Eurotrashy. Again, take a look at how the hem reaches the floor. They jeans look like they've been made for the boots, right? Yeah, that's how they got their cute little name - but they'll also look good with all the rest of your shoes, so don't pass them over just cos you don't own a pair of boots.

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Slim Bootleg
Generally speaking, I would recommend you avoid anything that has "slim" on the tag, but in this case, it seems to work. These are very traditional, masculine looking jeans. This is one of the few pair I've seen that would look ok without a belt - so if you hate that kind of thing, these are probably a good choice for you. Notice the fit is straight legged, but they're a tad bit long, giving rise to a few ripples in the fabric down toward the bottom. It actually looks ok here, so if you wind up with a pair that look slightly too long, don't worry too much. And, again, check out the way the hem reaches the floor.

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Gap Jeans Loose Fit
I love Gap jeans. They're simple, classic, and they look very good on men and women both. They cost about 1/3 the price of the average designer jeans, and they look 300% better, in most cases. Notice that these "loose fit" jeans are NOT baggy. You don't want baggy, baggy is for teenagers. If, however, you're the kind of guy who prefers a bit of room in the thigh or knee, these will do it for you.

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7 For All Mankind's Cooper
The color of these jeans is not my favorite, but I can deal with it. I can't however, deal with those tapered ankles. Would you actually be comfortable, feeling like someone shrank your jeans down while you were wearing them? They're also too tight in the knee - everything north of that is ok, otherwise. See how the hem doesn't reach the floor, and doesn't even cover the back of the shoe? Looks pretty silly, unless this guy is trying out for a Happy Days reunion special!

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True Religion's Joey
Do I need to explain this one? Would you look at that day-glo stitching? I want to see the men who've bought these, cos I want to know what kind of person would spend $287 bucks to make himself look like a circus escapee. Even if you actually like the stitching, the flare is pretty unflattering. And that hem is perfect example of pants that reach the floor, but don't quite look right. See how they bunch up to the side? Not sexy - it means the hem is much narrower than the pants.

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7 For All Mankind's Flynt
Ok, come on, how many of you would really wear anything with pockets like that? If you have women who like this look on you, you are probably being treated like a giant Ken doll, and you ought to consider snatching the pants back, cos she's clearly the one wearing them! These are not sexy on men. I don't care if you're straight, gay, or bi - these are going to look so completely ridiculous on your man-booty, I am cracking up just thinking about it!!

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7 For All Mankind's Slimmy
First of all... you should always be wary of men's jeans going by the name of "slimmy". How manly does that sound? I mean, come on.. do you roll over in the morning and shimmy into your favorite slimmy jeans? Good lord, I hope not. Even if you can handle the name, these are not sexy jeans. There were some cool fashions back in the 80s, but these were not it. Look at how tight those are? That model is fit, and even he looks ridiculous! George Clooney couldn't make those look good, I promise.

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